You Never Forget

They say you never forget how to ride a bicycle. Well, I put that saying to the test.

I rode a bike!
Me...you know...the one who had not done anything more physical than walk for years...yeah...me.
I.rode.a.bike.
And I didn't even crash or fall at least not the first day.

I rode around my block and on the next block. It was cold...it is still Winter here in Utah. The next night I rode a mile around my neighborhood. The freedom and the wind in my face - AWESOME. It was truly a sense of accomplishment.

But last Saturday - fall I did - and landed on my knee. My knee cap to be exact. The goose egg was horrible. (I should have taken a picture...because as time went on...I realized how proud I was of that goose egg and now the fading bruise.) It was a war wound. A wound I received because I.rode.a.bike. I got out of my comfort zone and did something new.

But, I was NOT going to let that fall stop me - so I got up - hopped around - cried (the little boys next door saw me) - shook it off and went on a ride with my hubby. Again we went around and around the neighborhood. This time I got all this technical information/advice/knowledge about the bike and how to shift more properly. Stuff that comes naturally to some - so very foreign to me. It's like learning a new language. Came home and showed off the knee to the family - they were all here - and got the needed sympathy as I bragged about my war wound!

Monday, we took a longer ride. BUT, it was hard. My knee still hurt. I had lost confidence. I was afraid. Very afraid. We bundled up (remember it is still winter) and rode around our neighborhood.

I am afraid of the main streets - they are narrow and small and busy - you know - with cars!

As we were riding through the neighborhood - there is a little path - to the park. I lived here 3 years and did not know you could get to the park from our neighborhood. I thought you had to go up the main street - you know - the narrow one with cars. So, we went through the park and rode around and then my hubby went out into the street.

I freaked out. I tried and stopped and fell - a little - but I learned how to fall last Saturday - so I let the bike fall and I stayed standing. TWICE.

Hubby finally noticed I was no longer following him and he came back to see me riding around the park trying to find an ounce of confidence to ride out into the street. Well, I finally did and from the park we ended on the place I have been dreaming of riding since I first asked for a bike a few months ago.

The bike path.

(BTW, I asked for the bike for Mother's Day and hubby came home one day with a receipt...he put it on lay away for me and we finally picked it up - the weather was warming up.)

I did not ever notice that you could get on the path from that street - I knew where it picked up on another street. So, we rode down the peaceful path - covered with trees and a little creek along side it. I learned that narrow paths also have a tendency to freak me out. We rode successfully down the path and it was getting dark. So, we got off at the next exit (the one I knew about) and had to cross the street at one of the busiest intersections in our little neck of the woods - I avoid crossing the intersection when I come home from work. It is the only "2 way stop" intersection on this rather main road and in a car I have had my fair share of close calls as people assume it is a "4 way stop".

My plan was to ride back down the bike path and go the way we came - the path I have already conquered!

I want to cry. I am so afraid. It is a small, narrow street. It really is no big deal, but I am so frightened. I once again have a little drop the bike kind of fall. I wondered why I even want to ride in the first place. Hubby tells me to just walk across the street. I feel defeated! Walk across the street. In my mind - it is NOT an option - it is a failure. I do not want to fail! So, I begin again to ride - into the street - I ride! I make it and we go on the sidewalk.

A.little.narrow.sidewalk.

Remember, narrow kind of freaks me out! And this time there is like a four foot drop to the left of me at the edge of the sidewalk. But, we make it around the corner - I pretty much keep my feet on the ground the whole way because I am now also afraid of turning! But, then we are off the sidewalk and back into our neighborhood and I ride. Free. I know this road - it is wide - there is plenty of room for bikes and cars - we do not have to be close to each other.

Hubby remarks - "Good thing you didn't sign up for that ride." I am now mad! I am going to do that ride. I am going to learn to ride in the street - with cars - and I am going to sign up for that ride this fall! I think he now believes me. He smiles...and I happily ride home - thrilled that I survived!

Friday, I get home from work early. Hubby is gone - to Memphis to be exact. It is a long weekend, I have much to do. I want to go on a ride - so I quickly change my clothes - and go. Off by myself - round and round the neighborhood. I so want to go down to the bike path. But I am alone and a little afraid. So ride around the neighborhood I go. Safe. I ride until I am too cold to ride some more. I hope the weatherman is wrong and the little storm will miss us and I can ride over the weekend.

So here I sit - with 6 new inches of snow...waiting and anticipating the return of warmer weather... so I can once again ride.

I realized sitting here, recollecting my first few days of bike riding - that there are parallels to life - especially this journey of weight loss I am on. It is thrilling, exciting and HARD. There are obstacles to overcome. Sometimes I fall. Sometimes it is a big fall and sometimes I just let the "bike" fall. I learn new things. I am aware of how my body reacts - much like how the bike reacts. I am aware of all those hard situations where food is and how I must learn to navigate through them - much like learning to ride down the narrow paths and busy streets. I realize that I have a lot to conquer if I want to reach my goal - and by the way - I also have a large goal to ride my bike in an all women's ride - the Wonder Woman to be exact! (I want to do the metric century - 62 miles this fall.) I learn that I must pick myself up after a fall, brush myself off and get right back on - or I may never get back on - and keep working.

So, as soon as the ice is gone - I will get out the bike and ride on...on towards a new healthy me and a new healthy life with lots and lots of adventures that 7 months ago I would have never dared to dream of. I know it will be difficult and hard, but I know the journey will take me down amazingly beautiful paths as a weigh to find myself.