The Game

I play(ed) a game with myself...that for the most part I ALWAYS won. Not necessarily a fun game either.

It went pretty much like this...enter a room (or a new situation)...glace around and answer...

YEP - It's you! You WIN!!!!

What did I just win?

Well...the "Biggest Person in the Room" award of course!

I. did. this. all. the. time.

It was the first thing I did in any new situation...found my place.

But it was what it was and I did this...consciously and subconsciously. You would think this would have motivated me to change...but alas...I was stuck...stuck in that mentality...and it was that thinking that kept me stuck there.

In a weird way, it was who I thought I was and who I thought I should be.

My kids ask me...what motivated me to change? Why was this time different?

Well, lots of things made it different...

but these little people had a whole lot to do with it!

They changed my life in ways that I could not do on my own.

Look at those eyes...they spoke to me.

They needed me and wanted me when at times I didn't even want myself!
Their eyes invited me to their birthday parties, their baptisms, their ordinations, their high school graduations, their weddings, their college graduations and then finally to their children's celebrations. And I could NOT resist. Their happiness made me want to be better!

I found myself caught between two worlds...my family who came before and died too young (whom I miss terribly) and those yet to join us on earth. The linking of family became a reality that was very motivating to me. As I held these sweet newly arrived beings, I asked myself, "Did my grandparents love me this much?" And I knew that I had to do everything possible so that these faces will NEVER ask themselves that question when they become grandparents. I want to do all I can so that I can be here for them, tell them in person how loved they are and spend all those special moments in between the "occasions" of life with them.

So, if you need MOTIVATION...whatever it is you struggle with. Look into the eyes...the eyes of those you love and who love you...your parents, your spouse, your grandparents, your siblings, your children, your grandchildren...link with those generations...because when we are gone...those links are all we take with us!

We need each other and can help each other!

You are needed and wanted and loved!

And while we are here...those links will strengthen us! Thank you family...for sticking by me and loving me and giving me reasons to live when I maybe had lost all hope on myself!