The Uniform

I have (HAD) a wardrobe that I referred to as "the uniform". Stretch jeans - and a blouse that has gathers at the yolk and across the back. Clothes that fit and looked nice - well nice for someone who has as much weight as I do to lose. I tried to look the best I could given my situation. Well, I finally had clothes that were too big. A lot too big! I don't think I have really ever had that problem before! So, I got a few new things that fit and cleaned out a few of the old things. It was a little bit like getting rid of my best friends. These were clothes that I felt the most comfortable in and familiar - they were me! I have worn this "uniform" since I began student teaching and needed to dress up more. That was 7 years ago!

My newer things are a different style...but so out of my comfort zone. The first day I wore one of them - I was so nervous. I went to my teacher friend next door and was going to ask if I looked ok? Before I could get it out - she said "Wow, you look great! It is really starting to show!" Really?!?!? I was just going to ask if it was ok.

I was so nervous, uncomfortable and scared!

Well, I cleaned out the closet a week ago - but still had not gotten rid of the clothes. It was so scary...so final. I did yesterday...I (meaning, my good hubby) dropped them off at a charity drive.

I never want to go back - but I am so scared I will.

~What if I wake up tomorrow and nothing fits again?

~What if I don't like the person I am becoming?

It is such a scary journey...this stepping into the unknown.

But, I am...

I continue to put one foot in front of the other -

and these baby steps are taking me on quite a long journey...

a journey to find myself.